10 January 2005
i'm back
I can't very well just start in again now without making mention of the multi-month gap in blog entries. More than half a year. The short version...
I have been completely off Remeron since June. I've lost about 15 pounds as a result of stopping that medication and exercising (and eating mostly well). Only about another 10 to go.
The summer was quite nice. I spent time out at my brother's & parents' houses in Cutchogue (way out east on the North Fork of Long Island). I saw Rod Stewart at Southampton College (my alma mater, which is, sadly, being dismantled) with my Aunt Helen & Sonny (Aunt Helen's then-fiance now-husband). My husband and I saw Ian Hunter in Hoboken, NJ, in October (and in NYC in December).
I'm remembering how much I enjoy music. The Ian Hunter gigs were really incredible. Who would think a 60-year-old guy could still pull off rock and roll with dignity? He does. I'm now looking forward to finding a nearby Graham Parker gig (I know he plays in the NY area a bit since he lives in upstate NY). I've never seen him live (I've been listening to his music since the late 1970s) and it's only occurred to me now that I can go to concerts/gigs (whatever you want to call them) if I want to (I mean, I'm an adult), and they really make me feel good.
A quick on-topic note about an Ian Hunter song called "Dead Man Walkin'" from his RANT cd. The song is about getting older and becoming somewhat obsolete, or feeling as if you're becoming obsolete, but it reminds me of the depression-isolation feeling. The music adds to that feeling. A moving song. But the beautiful part for me is that I can listen to the song and identify (with) the feeling, and the effect doesn't devastate me. There was a lot of music I used to like that I couldn't listen to for years because it churned up these sad, lonely feelings. It's a gift to find the music still works for me (and no longer against me).
That's pretty much where I am now. Resolved to writing more (I'm usually not one for New Year's resolutions, but I felt this was a good one and one I could stick to). Feeling good without the Remeron (though still on Lexapro). Exercising. Looking to the future.
Even though my living situation has not improved, and we are still incurring some hardships (mostly financial), I'm not depressed. The holidays didn't slide me into a pit (though I did get into a snit on Thanksgiving, but I also got out of it fairly quickly).
There's life.
--Mary
I have been completely off Remeron since June. I've lost about 15 pounds as a result of stopping that medication and exercising (and eating mostly well). Only about another 10 to go.
The summer was quite nice. I spent time out at my brother's & parents' houses in Cutchogue (way out east on the North Fork of Long Island). I saw Rod Stewart at Southampton College (my alma mater, which is, sadly, being dismantled) with my Aunt Helen & Sonny (Aunt Helen's then-fiance now-husband). My husband and I saw Ian Hunter in Hoboken, NJ, in October (and in NYC in December).
I'm remembering how much I enjoy music. The Ian Hunter gigs were really incredible. Who would think a 60-year-old guy could still pull off rock and roll with dignity? He does. I'm now looking forward to finding a nearby Graham Parker gig (I know he plays in the NY area a bit since he lives in upstate NY). I've never seen him live (I've been listening to his music since the late 1970s) and it's only occurred to me now that I can go to concerts/gigs (whatever you want to call them) if I want to (I mean, I'm an adult), and they really make me feel good.
A quick on-topic note about an Ian Hunter song called "Dead Man Walkin'" from his RANT cd. The song is about getting older and becoming somewhat obsolete, or feeling as if you're becoming obsolete, but it reminds me of the depression-isolation feeling. The music adds to that feeling. A moving song. But the beautiful part for me is that I can listen to the song and identify (with) the feeling, and the effect doesn't devastate me. There was a lot of music I used to like that I couldn't listen to for years because it churned up these sad, lonely feelings. It's a gift to find the music still works for me (and no longer against me).
That's pretty much where I am now. Resolved to writing more (I'm usually not one for New Year's resolutions, but I felt this was a good one and one I could stick to). Feeling good without the Remeron (though still on Lexapro). Exercising. Looking to the future.
Even though my living situation has not improved, and we are still incurring some hardships (mostly financial), I'm not depressed. The holidays didn't slide me into a pit (though I did get into a snit on Thanksgiving, but I also got out of it fairly quickly).
There's life.
--Mary
